41. never wear ugg boots. Apparently girls didn’t get this memo 7 years ago. MAYBE when you’re in Malibu, and even then it’s sketch. Maybe on a ski trip around the lodge, but not out and about at sundance! perhaps to a movie/TV set in the morning, cuz you’re gonna change into your wardrobe anyways! have you given any thought to moccasin boots: the healthy alternative to ugg boots? 

42. never, I repeat NEVER leave reading material in the bathroom! What the fuck kind of game are you trying to run here? Unacceptable!

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31. drink earl grey tea. it’s fancy and good.

32. make oranges your new best friend. they smell good and taste just as good as they smell. like supermodels! yes, i know i shouldn’t advocate eating, but sometimes you have to! and these take a while to peel! so, in the time you could have eaten two snickers bars, you’re still in the midst of enjoying your new bff…the orange! pow!

33. don’t eat carbs.

34. everything has carbs.
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21. just because you have bangs, doesn’t mean you can pick at your face-under your bangs.

22. Just because you exercise, doesn’t mean you can binge eat.

23. don’t be a stripper. It’s not cool
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1.  if a fat and/or ugly dude snubs you, it’s time to look at yourself in the mirror. it might be time for a make over. 

2. if you’re in a car and you see a cute dude, honk your horn. women NEVER do this. men do it! gardeners do it! just give it a try. the dudes will LOVE it and be a bit confused/taken a back. it’s like punching them in the face with your new found power vadge! Read more at!

1. on a date, order mint tea, instead of the sugary chai late you’d rather drink! you’ll look way more fem and alluring! you might even lose a pound! PRIVACY is for bloating; NOT dates in public!

2. if you read a blog and it pisses you off, stop reading it. if you continue to read it, get upset, and comment like a raving lunatic- it means the following: you are a fucking retarded waster of time! on the other hand, if reading a blog makes you happy and entertains you, go right ahead!Read more at!

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